If you experienced either a void of competency or appropriate guidance in formative years:  You may adapt by creating an overly authoritative (or "must be perfect or right") self-image through being forceful or dominating, only later to find that using anger or force becomes your main go-to emotion or strategy to get what you want, that others commonly express feeling unfairly treated, intimidated by, or hurt by you, or you get into various forms of trouble due to your behavior (such as, consequences at school/work/legally or that you lose relationships) — usually occurring by your placing blame on others and denying any responsibility for your behavior's impact on others.

If you experienced early on that staying quiet to avoid disagreement or conflict reduced internal discomfort and/or negative external consequences:  You may adapt by never learning to recognize or express your preferences, by becoming too accommodating and not setting boundaries around others’ hurtful or irresponsible behavior, or always putting yourself last and instead focusing on earning friendship and love or being seen as caring, good, loyal, etc.

If you grew up without feeling emotionally unsupported or were shamed for showing tender (or other) emotions:  You might adapt by avoiding vulnerability as a way to stay safe — yet later find it hard to form close, fully trusting, and honest relationships, take in compliments, accept help, listen to someone else's difficult emotions, or even be able to slow down to relax or connect — even if it is requested/offered by someone important to you OR even if you quietly long for more connection.